The Challenges of Being a Youth Sports Volunteer Coach

A couple of years ago my daughter joined a youth volleyball league. I dreaded taking her to the weekly practice. Why? Because it was a disaster! This was a youth league that depended on youth sports volunteer coaches. It was not a club league.

There were twelve girls in the team and it seemed like the coach didn’t know what to do with them. Every night after practice I would get home and complain to my husband about what a waste of time that was. Every week. I sounded like a broken record!

Our team clinched a spot at the bottom of the rankings. Parents would leave the games annoyed. “Another loss”, we whined. But what we didn’t do was show appreciation for the coach.

At practice, parents kept to themselves. We sat quietly on the butt-numbing gym bleachers staring at our phones.

As the season progressed I kept thinking… I know nothing about volleyball. But, I am sure that I could do a better job than the coach. Is this what we paid $90 for? What a waste of money and time!

Volunteer Coaching, What Was I Thinking?

After a few weeks of sitting on my butt and having a terrible attitude, something finally happened. I got disgusted! Not at the coach, I got disgusted at myself.

What was I thinking? How selfish and inconsiderate had I been! This lady is volunteering her time; she is not getting paid a dime. She made the choice of investing her time and energy in coaching my daughter. And what have I done in return? Nothing, other than complaining. This is not fair!

Getting Off My Butt

The following week at practice I decided to get off my butt and help. The least I could do was to save the coach some running around by gathering the volleyballs scattered around the court. I also showed more appreciation. I acknowledged her dedication to the team and thank her for her time every night after practice.

When the season came to an end I regretted having such a loser attitude, but I got an important lesson. I learned that paying $90 does not entitle you to an Olympic experience or a professional coach. Paying to have your kids in a team does not entitle them to win either.

And if you think that the coach sucks, let me break the news to you; your daughter is likely not going to be the next Team USA Kerri Walsh Jennings either.

Parents, we cannot feel entitled. Complaining will take us nowhere. If we don’t like it, we must change it!

Coaching The Team

The following season I decided to coach my daughter’s team. I didn’t know anything about volleyball, had never played, but was determined to do a better job, right? So, I watched dozens of videos on YouTube and came up with practice drills.

The season went by fast. Turns out, coaching youth sports is much harder than it looks! We didn’t do very well. We only won two out of ten games.

Losing was hard. But even worse was dealing with some parents’ attitude and lack of appreciation. Karma! I deserved it! This was the same message that I had sent to that other coach!

When the season was over I didn’t want to have anything to do with volleyball ever again! I felt like a failure. Although I had enjoyed working with the girls, I didn’t feel approved by the parents. The few that had a bad attitude did enough to impact my self-esteem. I was defeated!

It Is All About the Kids!

But coaching youth sports is not about the parents, it is about the kids! To my surprise, a couple of parents in the team asked me to come back to coach for a second season! Me? Really?

Five out of the nine girls came back. We picked a new name and added a couple of new players. Also, another parent stepped up and volunteered to be an assistant coach. I wonder what was going through his mind?

The spirit of the team for the second season together was quite different. Parents were engaged during practice and during games.

Every time we met they showed appreciation for my time and effort with the girls. I truly believe that parent involvement and support made us successful.

I also believe that some youth sport coaches suck, mostly, because they lack support from the parents!

We went on to win every single game. We took first place, undefeated!

Preparing For The Third Season

My second season coaching I learned that in sports, and in life, winning is not always a matter of skill. The right attitude can take you places. Generosity works its way back!

As I plan on coaching a third season, I realize that I have gotten much more out of being a volunteer coach than what I have put into it.

Coaching has not just forced me to stay more active. Coaching has given me the privilege of becoming a leader to nine great girls. I taught them the skills to win a game, but I also taught them some skills to use in life.

I encouraged them to be humble, focused, and to work hard. They learned the meaning of the word “arrogance”, and understood that even in an undefeated team there was no room for that attitude.

If you think your kid’s coach sucks don’t be too quick to judge! Instead, consider stepping in. Offer help at practice and at the games. Show support and appreciation.

If you feel called to coach I encourage you to do so! Don’t be the lady with the numb butt that I was. Get up and act! Being a part of the solution will bring you much more satisfaction than being part of the problem!

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The Challenges of Being a Youth Sports Volunteer Coach